im about as happy as oj after his trial
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
