Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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