yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
