Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
