soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
