we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
