there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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