Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As shirtless as possible
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
