Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize