Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your penis caused this!
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