Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
