If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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