I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
