dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
