I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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