Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
