Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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