Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize