I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
