I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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