We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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