Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
