It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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