I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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