An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
