im drinking this country out of the recession.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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