There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
