WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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