i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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