Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
