see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
