In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
