your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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