you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize