Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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