I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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