Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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