I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
