Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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