i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
