she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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