how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
