its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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