I don't usually arrange sex via text message
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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