oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
