Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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