Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
