Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
