We named our party play list daddy issues
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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