speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
