I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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