I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
