You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
