I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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