i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
