i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
