i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
