Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
