I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
