Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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