I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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